The virtues of fruit beers – A definitive guide

March 23, 2021
1 min read

Witchdoctor’s beer guru NEIL MILLER promised his next column would extoll the virtues of fruit beers. That time has come…

As predicted, it turned out to be a very short column. I could not think of any virtues and an internet search was not exactly helpful. Here is the actual screenshot:

             This content could not be found.

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Kim Jong-Il claims to have invented fruit beers while shooting a 38 under par score on his first and only round of golf.

  • Fruit beers are stupid – N. Miller
  • WHO – Rabid fruit bats are still better than fruit beers
  • Beer for people who like Ribena more than beer
  • 246 fruit beer breweries across Europe catch fire in one night
  • Vladimir Putin proclaims Russia as the greatest fruit beer-producing nation in history
  • When your beret is just not emo enough, have you considered fruit beers
  • Revealed: Fruity Pebbles are the secret ingredient in every fruit beer ever brewed
  • “I don’t grate steak into your pudding, don’t put fruit in my beer”
  • #YouHavingALaughSquire
  • Brewers of fruit beer chase award-winning beer writer while wielding biodegradable melon ballers
  • N. Miller concedes that grapefruit IPA is “quite good”

Next time, we look at the upside of lockdowns.

Image credit: The very talented Steve CossaboomEmail: [email protected]


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Neil has been writing for well over 20 years on beer, politics, books, pro-wrestling, education, and retail. An NZ Beer Writer Of The Year, he’s written for several beer-dedicated magazines, contributed to our leading dailies and is probably best known for the epic Malthouse Blog, which showcased the beer knowledge and quirky sense of humour he’s looking to bring to the mighty Witchdoctor!

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