Fancy A Notch On Your Android’s Belt?

November 22, 2017
1 min read
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If there’s one thing sillier than the iPhone X’s notch, it’s this pretend notch app, writes PAT PILCHER.

 

Straight from the good Witchdoctor’s WTF files comes an Android app that oozes what-the-fuckery. So, what exactly is this piece of (cr)app-ware?

Think iPhone X. What is its most defining feature? You know, the one that Android phones don’t have and Android users most covet.

Yep, it’s the iPhone X’s notorious notch. That’s the black carbuncle atop of the screen on Apple’s latest fruity smartphone. It’s there to make room for the myriad of sensors needed for face ID. It’s also been the subject of intense ridicule by Android fan boys and fierce defence from i-Fan boys.

So now you can download for free – would anyone would pay for it? – an app that simulates the notch and have the top part of your phone’s screen rendered useless.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the iPhone X. It looks like a great piece of hardware. Our esteemed chief editor, Gary Steel, is even an iPhone user. (Admittedly an ancient 6S, because he’s poor).

My issue is this: Why would any rational person install an app or theme on their phone that decreases its usability? Themes and user interface customisations should add to a phone’s appeal and usability. A big black blog at the top of your phone’s screen does neither.

While this app might be free, and may even get you a few ha-ha’s from your mates, it’s also silly. Blacking out part of a functioning screen so you can pretend your phone is another model? That folks, is nucking-futs.

The app is XOutof10. It will play nice with most Android phones (they must run Android Ice Cream Sandwich or later). And on an OLED display, it does a good job of copying the iPhone X’s notch.

If you’re stupid enough to want to try this (cr)app, remember this. It doesn’t do anything useful. So, if you want to render already scarce phone screen real-estate useless, go for it.

While the Android App store folk were smart enough to say “screw this shit, we aren’t touching that %$#@!! App”, the folks at GitHub are providing it for free. What were they thinking?

Pat has been talking about tech on TV, radio and print for over 20 years, having served time as a TV tech guy and currently penning reviews for Witchdoctor. He loves nothing more than rolling his sleeves up and playing with shiny gadgets.

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