Matthew Kelly1001 Albums You Must Die Before You Hear
#110: Ladbaby – Don’t Stop Me Eating (2020)
MATT KELLY was going to review Journey until he heard Ladbaby’s appropriation of a really shit song. We feel really sorry for him.
Confession time: ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ is a shit song. Syrupy pablum, it’s the moment that mainstream rock started to give up and become safe and establishment.
So it’s pretty impressive that I’m not sticking Journey here because Ladbaby’s take on the song is even worse. The third installment of his Sausage Rock And Roll Christmas singles, like the first two it got to #1 on the UK Singles charts. The food bank fundraising ‘Don’t Stop Me Eating’ is a compelling argument to give to charity because perhaps if people donated more, things like this wouldn’t be necessary.
You’ll hear Ladbaby manage to drone despite using autotune which I previously thought was impossible, wife Roxanne cackle like the lovechild of the Wicked Witch and a hyena, their typical limp, cloying, matey-potatey innit humour, and a sense of sentimentality that seems a bit much even for Christmas music. Kudos to the producer who desperately endeavours to drown out their vocals with a deafening wall of synths and guitars that on the one hand damages your ears, but on the other hand you’re listening to Ladbaby so what’s the downside really?
At the end, Roxanne says,“Just when you think it can’t get any worse it does,” which is prophetic because if you thought this wasn’t terrible enough, there is… Um… Are you sure want to know? I’m giving you a chance to stop reading and get out before this terrible knowledge is forever within your mind. You’re sure you want to continue? Last chance. Okay, on your head be the consequences.
There is a second version which features Ronan Keating, sadly not called ‘Don’t Stop Me Keating’. I dunno about eating, Ladbaby, but I sure wish someone would stop your bleating.
