Matthew Kelly1001 Albums You Must Die Before You Hear
#115: Alison Gold – Shush Up (2014)
Gold’s follow-up to ‘Chinese Food’ was so regrettable and tasteless that she had to change her name, writes our dean of tack, MATT KELLY.
Most people would be content making one “worst song of the year” and then calling it a day, but not Alison Gold and supervillain producer/songwriter Patrice Wilson.
After 2013’s ‘Chinese Food’ brought the pair infamy, they followed it up with ‘Shush Up’ which is a lot less well-known but I am confident in pronouncing as much worse.
There are songs out there – I’m thinking of Megan Trainor’s ‘Me Too’ for example – where upon first listen I say to myself, “Hey this isn’t so bad” and then the WORST CHORUS EVER hits and I understand the song’s reputation. Such is the case here, the song beginning with competent minimalist electropop and an echoing vocal from Gold which is far more convincing than the naive droning found on ‘Chinese Food’. But then the obnoxious chorus hits with Gold sneering “CRANK IT OR SHUSH UP” in supernaturally unlikeable fashion over shitty mechanical whining and the track goes from passable to unlistenable in a matter of seconds.
The failed bad girl attitude of this chorus was part of a wider attempt by ‘Shush Up’ to rebrand Gold for an older audience, and this is stressed by the music video which I highly recommend you do not watch. Making Miley Cyrus’s similar journey from Disney girl to badass seem quaint by comparison, in the ‘Shush Up’ video Gold robs a jewellery store, is arrested, and sent to jail where she dances around in a skimpy gold lamé outfit using some very suggestive poses and body language.
SHE WAS ELEVEN AT THE TIME. I’m not clear whether it was filmed in a jail because of a creative choice or because that’s where the crew already happened to be. Throw in some sexy nurses and Gold dancing with topless adult male construction workers and you’re in for an extremely uncomfortable time. STOP READING NOW. And this is before she dives into a cage of semi-nude adults grinding on each other, then gets strapped into a chair and electrocuted.
I’ll tell you what though, I would pay money for a recording of the meeting at which a group of adults (presumably including Gold’s parents) got together, mapped out the music video and all agreed it was a good idea.
The song was apparently intended to sweep aside the memey image of ‘Chinese Food’ and launch Gold as an actual credible pop star but the extremely negative reception to ‘Shush Up’ ended her career. She never released another song, left the music industry and changed her name. I totally understand not wanting the follies of your 11-year-old self (particularly one misguided by trusted adults who should have known better) hanging over your head for the rest of your life.
Unfortunately, we are far from done with the musical crimes of Patrice Wilson but I’m going to need a strong drink before I take on his song ‘Happy’, and I don’t even drink.
